See

I am not useless.
I have feelings.
I exist.
So why do some people forget that?
Quiet, not trying to make a scene.
always letting that
Anger bubble under the surface
You don’t really know who you’re dealing with.
Not everyone is how they seem
some are more complicated than you’ll ever know
but, all you see is the surface.
What I want you to see..
not what you Should see.
A big difference there.

I am not useless.
I have feelings.
I exist.
So why do some people forget that?
Quiet, not trying to make a scene.
always letting that
Anger bubble under the surface
You don’t really know who you’re dealing with.
Not everyone is how they seem
some are more complicated than you’ll ever know
but, all you see is the surface.
What I want you to see..
not what you Should see.
A big difference there.

The Most Perfect Smell

There is something oddly beautiful about laundry.
Not just any laundry, but clean laundry.
That smell, stands for so many things.
Spring sprung, a new day begun.
For that one moment when you smell it, life stops
And it’s exactly the way life should be
For just one moment.
No fighting, no tears.
No thinking about the next thing to be done.
Just sheer and utter bliss as you inhale
A scent that is universal, all over the world.
Just that one moment, we’re all connected.
It’s an opportunity to sit back and smell the flowers.
Except I would rather sniff warm clothes than a rose.
Roses are beautiful, but in a cliché sort of way.
Clean laundry is an unexpected smell, a surprise of sorts.
You can lose yourself completely and fully
In such a small moment.

Dreaming with Eyes open

I thought I was in love with you.
at some point anyway.
Now, I’m just not so sure.
they say that you know the instant you’ve met.
Like fireworks going off, magic in the air.
Yeah, right.
let’s get real.
Some of those moments, they took my breath
away.
and, Now, I wonder if I let you slip away
were you possibly that one love of my life?
I know we were such a mismatched pair, and yet
I can’t stop thinking about those moments
replayed over and over in my mind.
I thought that I was done with this.
if I only knew what this is!
will I ever really know?
There’s no one out there like you
I miss you.
there are so many things I want
and I fear you’re no longer part of that
Equation.

Eventual Death: Someday.

Sometimes, it’s a good day.
Sometimes, a bad day.
I don’t know if I can say I’m unhappy.
for I’ve found some amazing people to call friends.
Yet, I can’t help wondering…if it’s missing
Something.
what that something is, I’m unsure.

* * *

Eventually.
that elusive “something” will pop out at me.
And eventually, I’ll stop thinking thoughts of
What if.
it just may take some time to get to that point.

* * *

Once I find that something
everything that I’ve wondered about will
Become clear, like water.
when will everything click into place?
And, when, will those butterflies die.
For good.

* * *

It will all die, eventually.
Someday, you’ll just be another boy.
*Someday*

The Us That Never Was

So, this is the way it is.
Between us.
or what was an us.
Now, it’s just a you and a me.
Two separate people who happen to pass by on the same
path.
I can’t believe this is the way it ended up.
I let my guard down.
I thought you were different.
And you were, for a time.
Until she came back into the picture.
and suddenly, everything changed.
the us went back to you and
Me.
Two very different people.
We could have been pretty amazing together.
I know that you know that.
You were too afraid, I guess.
To take a risk on something new.
Instead went back to what was familiar and
Safe.
New isn’t always bad, but I think you know that.
I hope she makes you as happy as you say you are
because you seem pretty
Miserable.

Unfair Waiting Game

People will only ever use you.
To their advantage.
better get used to being a pawn.
Because that’s just the way it is.
I’ve gained so little from giving so much.
To give is better than to receive.
Except, sometimes giving hurts too much.
But who am I to scorn you,
when I know it will never change.
Sometimes, you never end up getting what you
Want.
instead, you get to watch other people getting it.
And you wonder, when you get to be a part too.
When you get to beam at the one who loves
you.
The one who makes you glow, inside and out.
Perhaps never it seems.
After all, nobody ever said that life was fair
and if they do, they were certainly mistaken.
I’m still waiting.
for that one moment when everything
Falls into place.
Until then,
I’ll keep waiting.

So In Love: The Journey

To find yourself, you can’t file a missing person report.
And you can’t call CNN asking for a ransom
Either.
what do you do?
there should be some light to light the way.
Sorry, there isn’t.
No map, no automated directions.
It’s like a roadtrip, except…
it never really ends until you die.
I am by no means dead yet,
so it keeps going.
You have to find that one special guy,
the one who sets your heart afire and
tells you he see a small glimmer of
Something in you.
Then add the hardcore rock music.
and all the things that meek little girls don’t do.
When you have all that.
you think you’re good.
Sorry, wrong again.
Then you have to do some deep soul
searching and diving, and admit the truth.
A minute too late, almost.
You have to take off the mask
and see what you really are.
Hope he still loves
You.
Thinks you match up to the glimmer
of 3 long years ago.
You’re never done.
But that doesn’t matter to you,
as long as he’s holding your hand
every step of the way
And loving you,
for all of eternity.

Perform

I walk down the streets, and I am alone.
I see you.
Yet you’re no longer mine.
This pain, it’s not going away.
And she’s got you head over heels
while I play the friend.
Alone in the crowd, alone in my heart.
The heart heals, they say.
But not mine.
Never, not a chance.
I play the friend, but how I long for the lead.

Wanted:Love

As of this moment, I hate the world.
For its beauty, and its hideousness.
I hate emotion, but most of all-
I hate love
that manipulating feeling that takes over
Ever organ and makes you think you’re happy.
Happiness, aslo known as denial.

And your heart is the leader of this sick
Cult.
It betrays you with each and every beat.
bum bum, bum bum. Betrayal
Do you feel the greasy fingers of affection
itching to get inside your head?
For those murderous thoughts about them
to start swirling around.

Love is dangerous.
One shot and you’re gone.
Like a rabid beast, it will hunt you down.
Never let your guard down, not even to
A smile, a laugh, a shared glance.

It will decieve you in an instant.
Love is on the most wanted list.
Dead or alive, for a million.

It tore my heart

apart.